bulk.

you may not know this...or you think it's gross...BUT save on and price mart sell peanutbutter in bulk. so if you like natural peanutbutter (Adam's in particular), this bulk pb is the best. and i got my 500g for only $2.41. there is no better price than that for natural pb. yum.

the sleep saga: day 1

don't worry - i won't post daily about the sleep saga BUT here's what i've taken from Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.

> never wake a sleeping baby

> begin soothing your baby in preparation for a nap when they're drowsy, not overtired

> babies have a 1 - 2 hour period of wakefulness and then it's nap time

> you cannot make short nappers sleep longer. they're simply short nappers.

and here's what i learned today in my attempts to put ben to nap in his crib.

> ben is a short napper

> ben doesn't have a 1 - 2 hour wakeful window - he has more like a 45 min - 1 hr window.

> ben likes to trick you into thinking he's not tired by laughing but it quickly turns to crying and now he's overtired and not planning to sleep.

so all through the book, this dr. talks about babies having this 1 - 2 hour period of wakefulness. he must say it a billion times. so if my baby wakes up at 7am, he'll have a nap at 9am which will last 2 - 4 hours (whaaat?) then wake up, eat, play, and go down for an afternoon nap around 1pm which will, again, last 2 - 4 hours. etc. this morning ben was up at 6:45, ate, played and looked drowsy at 7:40. "but ben, you're supposed to wait until 9am!" and the short story is, ben did not follow the author's plan. "ben!" instead, he took four 30 - 40min naps, all with varying amounts of crying preceding them.

after he was in bed tonight (with no troubles at all, as usual - why are naps different?), i lamented to tim about how cranky ben was and how he's not sleeping long enough, yada yada yada. tim's shaking his head at my stressed-out state after one day of this self-induced madness. thankfully, i have babycenter.com. i've posted about this before. but tonight, i typed "short napper" into the search engine and GOLD. people who have MY story...they get it. and these strangers made me feel so much better. and hopefully tomorrow i can better enjoy ben's "wakefulness" and take it in stride. thanks for all the encouraging comments yesterday.

sleeeep...

i started reading this book this weekend. i took it out of the library thinking, "yeah, my baby sleeps well at night but i need help on the napping situation." well...now i am all consumed with sleep habits. babies need a TON of sleep. yikes. the most interesting point so far is that parents don't want to put their babies to sleep "too early" for fear that they will wake up too early. what happens is that the baby is overtired by the time he goes to sleep and then will wake up in the night or still end up waking too early. so ben's been going to bed between 7 and 7:30pm but often he's really cranky and upset earlier and i'm trying to keep him up at least until 7pm because I thought going to bed too early would mean earlier waking. as it turns out...it doesn't. bedtime routine has started around 6pm the last two nights and he's fast asleep by 6:30pm. whaat? and he's waking up at his normal time. moms...i recommend reading this book.

so another interesting thought is how our culture these days is that having a baby isn't going to stop us from doing all the same things that we used to do. we tote our baby everywhere and keep trying to live the same life. (i'm using "we" to mean people...not necessarily tim and i) but let's face it moms (and dads), we have a kid. life has changed. and just as we wouldn't skip feedings for our babe or cut feedings short because we want to go out with a friend, we shouldn't be doing that with sleep. this kid depends on us to help him get the sleep he needs. the less sleep babies get, the less alert, happy, and aware they are. well, if you've hung out with me in the last month, you've definitely heard me say, "ben needs a nap" or "ben's tired". i've been slowly figuring out the importance of sleep for my son but now reading this book, it's kind of putting into words what i was vaguely recognizing. i found it somewhat reassuring to find out that i'm not just a crazy mother who's obsessed with her kid's sleep habits but that i'm somewhat in tune with this baby of mine. unfourtunately, i'm just realizing all the more napping ben could use and am about to become totally annoying to be around. haha. hopefully not but i am realizing that i've got to get this kid on a better nap schedule. and napping in his crib. i tried today and i didn't have the will to listen to the crying when i knew the swing would bring cry-less napping despite not as restful. so "disturbed sleep" it was.

the farther i read in the book and the more personal stories i read, the more i'm like, "i have to just let him cry it out at naptime." boo. (hoo) anyways...we'll call it "sleep saga" and i'm sure it's not the last you hear of it.

are there moms of babies reading this blog who are interested in mom stuff? or should i be skipping this jazz?

a ben series: zooper

a 2008 zooper zydeco stroller

complete with fuzzy, warm sleeping bag thing

it works with our current carseat

and also the seat can face towards me or away from me.

includes a great sun shade that pulls completely down over the seat so ben can nap but i can still peek in to see how he's doing.

other fantastic-nesses:

fully reclines so that ben can lie down if he so desires

4 different recline settings

also came with a rain cover and UV cover

it's beautiful

air tires so it's a smoother ride (though maybe one day i'll be cursing them when i get a flat?)

front wheel swivels but can also lock for jogging (yes - tim's planning to)

regularly $455 plus shipping...on craigslist for $200

(good thing it's payday this week...and now i'm looking for things around my house to sell...)

YAY new stroller!

giggles

a ben series: the play mat

my first ben series elicited a "please make this weekly" response from my friend rachel and i think the series will become a regular occurrence here.

mornings

in the morning, ben rarely cries. i don't know how long i'd have to wait to let him get to crying but when he wakes up after 6am, i listen to him thrash around in his crib making little sounds for a bit but then i just go in because for goodness sakes, the kid's slept enough. what i love every morning though, is walking in, going to his crib, leaning over to say hi and getting a big smile from him. so worth it. and this morning, i got a bonus sunrise photo too.

oh haircuts...

i had a wonderful hairdresser that i accidently found when i first moved here 4 years ago. randomly, a great stylist in the mall. she showed me how to pull my bangs back with bobby pins. she "taught" me how to cut my own bangs so i wouldn't have to come back as often. she tried to teach me other ways to style my hair (even though i never attempted this myself) she had cool hair. (key to a good hairdresser) and while regular haircuts weren't my forte, she never judged when i returned to her chair. then she got pregnant and off she went on maternity leave never to return again.

so my hair has been growing...in length and unruliness. and you know what that means...enter the ponytail. that gets old pretty fast. and i've had my hair in a ponytail now for 3 months less one day. yes, the length of time ben has been around.

today at the gym, i spent an hour looking at this ponytail in a mirrored wall during a fitness class. and as i left the gym, i saw a mom putting her stroller in her car sporting my old haircut...one that i liked very much when i had it. 10 minutes later, i had an appointment for a haircut...with a stranger. but maybe this would be love.

after years of not having to explain how i want my haircut, i practiced what i was going to say before i got there. (i'm serious) when i got there, my hairdresser had terrible hair. a bad sign. as i began to explain what i wanted, a red-headed hairdresser was standing next to us and she also had a terrible haircut. but the more talked, the more it sounded like i wanted the redhead's haircut. so i began backpedalling. "like a bob but not too short...like inverted but not extreme. you know, the top layer not too high. but longer in the front but not too short in the back." blah, blah, blah. i knew i was in trouble.

it was a desperate feeling. i don't do well with change. and as new hairdresser cut, i realized i had backpedalled too hard. my haircut was nothing like i wanted. i tried to tell her it could go shorter. but my initial anti-redhead speech has been too convincing. after blow-dry, straightening, and lots more chopping, it still wasn't right. i told myself, "you cannot leave without trying again to get it shorter and sleeker." i explained again that i didn't want this girth at the bottom. she chopped a tiny bit more but no.

so i thanked her and paid my money. i looked at myself in every mirror in the mall and every car window reflection in the parking lot as i left. i came home and cried. i have a haircut that looks like it's at the awkward growing out phase. sigh. but you won't notice. and you'll say, "it's...cute!" and "this is what you were upset about?" therefore, there is no photo. this post is really just my public debrief. you know - for people to reminicse about their bad haircuts over the years. it's hair. and it's "not that bad". but as for love and hairdressers - i hope there are more fish in the sea.

jewelry - you want it...you know you do.

i was inspired to power up my jewelry collection. like, throwing a pair of earrings on before walking out the door is an easy way to look like at least a tried a little...so i bought about 5 pairs of earrings when i was in edmonton to kick off my "collection". but speaking of building a collection, my "auntie" gail nesimiuk designs and makes jewelry. all the proceeds go to Loaves and Fishes which is gail's ministry helping kids in crisis in burma. she has bought SO many beautiful stones and beads in burma that she uses in her designs. she's also brought back pieces that are already made and she is just selling them. gail designs bold, funky jewelry using lots of colour which makes them versatile pieces. the one above is one of gail's designs which my friend bought. this is just one of her styles - there are other styles as well. below are some pieces that gail brought back from burma which i purchased. there are lots of different styles in her collection and if you are interested in having a look, she's in canada until october 2 when she returns to burma for six months. send me a message on facebook or email me at my name at hotmail. we can set up a viewing, i'm sure. thanks gail, for the beautiful jewelry!

if you're a mom...

you'll appreciate this website: http://www.aintnomomjeans.com/

i've been inspired to buy some cute sneakers.

three months old

1 month

2 months

3 months

one month old mom

three month old mom

non-schedules are schedules too

before ben was born, i was reading a book called "baby wise". i was reading it thinking, "well this is awesome. why isn't everyone scheduling their kids like this?" i made it about halfway through the book when ben was born. and after one week with a baby, i was like, "who the heck uses baby wise? scheduling babies is way too difficult."

but now here we are 3 months in. and ben's not on a "schedule" throughout the day. this means that hang outs need to be a little flex and then the hang out either has to be near a swing, or include a drive or a walk because these are the three ways that ben naps during the day. now you'd think one might think, "i should start scheduling this kid so i know when things are going to happen" but because ben's such a great sleeper at night, i've let the days fall to "baby time". you'd be amazed at well one can make baby time work for them.

take today for example: the plan today was to go to WR and hang out with ang and while doing that, go to our family friend gail's place to see her jewelry that she makes. i had told ang i'd be at her place between 11 and 12pm. i had told gail i'd be there early afternoon.

(this is a detailed account of our day complete with times. if this does not interest you, i've highlighted the main sentences that you should read to get the gist. then you can read the last paragraph.)

ben woke up at 6:45am, had a bottle, squealed a little while lying on the couch with me, and then fell asleep at 7:45 in his swing. i went back to bed too at 8:15 and we both slept until 9;30. then we got up, ben had a bottle and i had breakfast. he sat with me on the counter, telling me some stories, while i washed bottles and replenished his diaper bag. then he came with me to my room while i packed myself an assortment of clothing for all weather/activities (yes, i do this almost everytime i leave the house) and i got dressed. by now it was 10:30 and ben was getting a little tired of this business. i popped him in his carseat, put all our stuff in the car, and off we went to WR. he slept the entire ride and woke up when i got to ang's at 11:30. (right "on time") we hung out for a bit before having a bottle at 12:15 and then after the burp quotient had been satisfied, we headed off to gail's. we arrived at gail's early afternoon. ben laid on the floor playing with his blanket for a good half hour while we admired and tried on jewelry. when he started to get a little vocal about being left alone, we brought him into the room we were in where he laid on the floor and watched us try on more jewelry, making our final decisions. when we were finished, he as just starting to let out little cries so we made our purchases and put ben back in his carseat. he immediately fell asleep so we went to the drive thru starbucks for fraps before heading back to angela's. after a that short little nap, ben woke up to play for a bit and then we had a bottle at 2:30ish. we left ang to let her work and went to grandma and grandpa's (where no one was home of course because they work) so i could change my clothes and then we headed to crescent beach for a walk. ben slept all the way to the beach and then in his stroller despite the bumpy ride on that gravel. he woke up as we were walking back to the car and cried about still being stuck in his carseat for the drive back to g&g's. at g&g's of course, he was happy and smiley. so by 4:30ish, he had another bottle. we waited until judy was home form work to hang out with her for a bit before leaving around 5:30. as you could probably guess if you've been paying attention...ben slept on the way home to abbotsford. when we got home, ben was thrilled to see his daddy who played with him and gave him his bottle at about 6:40 and i made dinner. we sat on our deck to eat and enjoyed the evening with ben in his bouncy chair playing with his blanket and squealing. ben hung out on the couch between tim and i for half an hour talking and looking at us and when his little arms and legs started to get still and there were no longer coos to accompany his smiles, i ran his bath. ben was in the bath at 7:30, in his pj's at 7:40, and drank a few ounces of a comfort bottle before giving in to sleep at 8pm.

so what's my point? well, it gives you an idea of how i work activities into a non-scheduled day because even though i can't tell you what time ben's naps are, there IS a pattern to his "baby time". and while all this napping seems a little excessive, ben sleeps great at night so who's to mess with that? i figure once we go to ontario in october, any schedule that we will have developed in the next month will be destroyed so i think i'm going to continue living on baby time until after we get back. but as you can see, it's doable.

deep thoughts anyone?

i heard this song on the radio the other day...laughing with by regina spektor. and it's a pretty song (you should youtube it if you haven't heard it) and has been stuck in my head all day today...umm...and yesterday. but i don't understand the last line. i forced my dad to listen to it and quizzed him down but he just shrugged. do YOU have any deep thoughts? analyze for me.

No one laughs at God in a hospital

No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’re starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one’s laughing at God
When it’s gotten real late
And their kid’s not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane start to uncontrollably shake
No one’s laughing at God
When they see the one they love, hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they’re mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one’s laughing at God
When there’s a famine or fire or flood

*Chorus*
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious
Ha ha
Ha ha

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got
And they don’t know what for

No one laughs at God on the day they realize
That the last sight they’ll ever see is a pair of hateful eyes
No one’s laughing at God when they’re saying their goodbyes
But God can be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke, or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they’re ‘bout to choke
God can be funny,
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughing at God in hospital
No one’s laughing at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God when they’re starving or freezing or so very
poor

No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
No one’s laughing at God
We’re all laughing with God

we're laughing WITH God? like...because he's laughing at all this terrible stuff? or he's laughing at us laughing? no. let's converse...

ben: a series

not the first day of school...

yesterday was the first day of school. here's my first day of school in 06. and 07. but i was not in school for this first day for the first time in 22 years. one might wonder how i felt about this.

you know, i'm the kind of girl who enjoys not going to work. most summers have an edge of panic, always thinking, "summer is almost over". this summer was relaxed (umm...except for all the sleepless nights and dirty diapers). and as i watched the back-to-school statuses popping up in my newsfeed, there were those waves of "aww..." but overall, i'm happy where i am at. i love hanging out with this little baby everyday (despite what my last post says). and i know that i will be back in the classroom too soon. i'm looking forward to keeping my ties with friends from school and i'll be visiting here and there. but right now, i'd rather sleepily roll out of bed to feed my little one than sleepily roll out of bed to go to work. and that's a good feeling.

light bulb

all day, i think of profound things, humourous things, random things to post about. when i'm lying in bed at night, i'm writing witty commentary to my day. but during the small window of time that i have a computer in the evenings...i don't feel like writing. i'm tired. i'm hanging out with my husband. i'm vegging out on facebook or google reader. and my blog goes to pot.

something that i had never valued BB (before ben) was spending time alone. i was fine to spend time alone but i wasn't searching it out. now, it's what i look forward to on the weekends. i wait all week until saturday when tim gets up for bottle #2 and i go back to bed for some bonus sleep. sometimes i go and do errands alone (and i refrain from telling strangers, "by the way, the reason my stomach is fat is because i had a baby a couple months ago..." ha.) sometimes i get to spend some time on my own at winners or the library. and sometimes i talk about going to starbucks and reading but i haven't made it there yet... but what is most important to me on saturday, is that it's different than my weekdays.

so when saturday rolls around and tim wants to work in the yard or, for example, this past saturday he had to go to work for the morning, that means that saturday becomes exactly the same as every other day of the week for me. it's enough to make a girl crazy. and i'm sure tim thinks i am once in awhile.

when a pipe burst in our basement suite on saturday, it meant that when tim got home from said work, he worked in the suite. and even though im happy to have a husband who works around the house and takes care of things like small floods...on days like last saturday, i was just ticked off that i wasn't going out and getting the pedicure i had planned on.

and it occurred to me: grown-up moments are not coffee and parenting magazines. grown-up moments are taking responsibility and the new understanding that it's not all about me.

a day in the life...in photos...

napping in the swing after his first bottle.

breakfast.

breakfast.

winners. ben looks annoyed but he's faking it.

grunt!

i'm eating. why are you taking my picture?

helping wash bottles.

quick trip to the library to pick up some magazines.

really mom? more photos?

daddy's home!

disclaimer: ben ate more than twice...but how many pics of that do we want?

me? a grown-up?

on a day-to-day basis, i don't have the feeling of being a grown-up. you know, the one you wanted to be when you were a little kid? does anyone else feel like that? it's not that i feel like a little kid but it's like i'm not quite done growing up. today, i had a moment of grown-up-ness. i was pouring my second cup of coffee with a parenting magazine under my arm and then i walked into my living room where my child was playing. a wave of adulthood. but now i'm sitting in my living room where my husband is playing videogames with his buddy...no more grown-up moments here. haha.