where the day went...

it's shocking at 7pm to find yourself unshowered and still wearing the tank top that you slept in. you wonder where the day went...

each day, i hang out with my baby. our lives are spent in 2 hour increments...from bottle to bottle. so i'm feeding ben at 11am watching ellen and then he lays beside me making faces and smiles until partway through people's court and then he gets a little tired of me. and i'm hungry for lunch. so into the swing ben goes and i go and make a sandwich. when i'm done eating, people's court is over and ben is crying, making little sucking motions with his mouth. and it's 1pm. bottle time. a half hour later, he's finished his bottle. i'm feeling like i should do something productive but for some reason, my baby is unhappy after his bottle so i spend the next half hour walking and bouncing with him. ben will fall asleep for 5 - 10 minutes but only if i hold him. but when he wakes up from his catnap, he's feeling a little happier. i spend some time talking to him and sit on the deck for 20 minutes or so. and then he starts to cry again. the soother gets pushed back out when he realizes it's not food and his little lips are going. arms and legs are going wild. and i realize it's 3pm. bottle time. half an hour later, i think, "maybe we'll go for a walk." but i look down and ben's fast asleep. hmm...do i want to wake him up to put him in his carseat? nah...i'll just watch what not to wear and i'll go for a walk when he wakes up. but after wntw is over, ben's still not awake. i should probably get some things done. so i wash all the bottles, unload the dishwasher, load the dishwasher, eat a snack, and throw in some laundry. ben begins to wake up, gurgles around for a bit with me, and then it's 5pm. he's ready to eat. this time, he eats an ounce or two but falls asleep when i'm burping him. i try to wake him but he's out. we sit on the couch for awhile, ben sleeping and then 20 minutes later, he wakes up and i continue feeding him. but he falls asleep again. we sit and sit, ben sleeping. this goes on for an hour or so. he never does finish the bottle. tim gets home from work and holds ben for awhile. i mess around in the kitchen and come up with something to eat. we put ben in the swing while we eat. he swings but he doesn't look happy about it. when he begins to cry in the swing, i realize it's already 7pm. bottle time. and i haven't showered and i'm still wearing the tank top i slept in.

phew.

disclaimer: not everyday is like this. many days i shower, go out, see friends, get things done. but many a day has been similar to this one and it's always a suprise when it's time to go to bed and i don't have to change. :)