the blame game

so today in class, we talked about not "playing the blame game". when you tell someone "it's your fault that we're in trouble!" - that's a blame message. we want to give "why" messages. (did we do this kind of stuff in school? i definitely can't remember...maybe we didn't even have personal planning) the kids love making up skits which is a lot of what we do in personal planning. but what i learned today was the 3 steps to giving a "why" message.

i thought maybe you should know too...this really could have helped us in life. ha.

> name the behavious that's bothering you.
> say WHY it's bothering you.
> say what you want to happen instead.

so now that you know the steps, take the quiz: are the following messages blame or why?

1. Someone in your group didn't do a part of an important project. You say, "I knew this would happen! That's why I didn't want you in our group. You never do your work. You're so lazy!"

2. A classmate told the teacher something was your fault when it wasn't. You say, "What you told the teacher wasn't true. I don't want to be blamed for something I didn't do. I'd like you to tell Mr. Jones the truth."

3. You were walking down the hall and someone ran into you, makin gyou drop your books. You say, "You jerk! Look what you did! My books are all over the floor."

the thing is...i did touch on the fact that just because you give a why message, it doesn't mean that that person is necessarily going to do what you ask. but i didn't really say what the alternative was...i don't know. what is it? tell a teacher? that can't be the only solution. because i'm tired of solving problems.