two steps forward, one step back

as you know, ben does not love the doctor. this week, wednesday, i wasn't able to get someone to look after ben while avery and i went to get my check-up and her shots so ben came along. we brought his doctor's kit along so that he could show our doctor. we amazingly got to the appointment on time and everyone happy. after waiting about half an hour, it was finally my turn to go in. ben had already shown the doctor his stethescope, given the receptionist a shot, and checked her reflexes. i asked him if he wanted to come and see avery get weighed and measured but he didn't. he waited in the waiting room as usual. there was no one in the room except him and the receptionist.

i went in, had my check up (ugh), and then the doctor left so that i could get dressed before we did avery's shots. i don't know what happened out there in that waiting room at that moment - maybe ben was tired of sharing his doctor's kit with another little girl or maybe he saw the doctor leave and mommy never came out but from inside the check up room, i heard, "mommy!" and a huge cry. i ran out into a FULL waiting room in just jeans and a tank top and ben was sobbing. the receptionist is saying to me, "i don't know what happened!" probably the other patients there were thinking, "why did she leave her kid out here alone?". i grabbed ben and sat with him on the only empty chair in the place while he cried that he wanted to go home. the doctor comes out and asked if i wanted to have a few minutes with ben before doing avery's shots but i did not want to prolong our doctor's visit by one more moment so i said, "nope - i'm coming!". ben wouldn't let go of me so in he came to the dreaded room. the doctor started to shut the door behind us but ben freaked - i think he doesn't like the poster on the back of the door of the human body. so we left the door open.

i held ben while the doctor checked avery. ben calmed down and watched the doctor use his doctor tools(without taking his head off my shoulder). the receptionist packed up ben's dr.s kit and brought it in in case he wanted it which was very thoughtful of her. (have i mentioned i love this doctor's office?) then i said, "i have to hold avery to get her shots so you'll have to sit here in this chair next to me." i definitely knew this was going to go sideways because i never wanted ben to SEE avery get her shots - he's too empathetic to handle it. he sat beside me and the doctor gave him the bandaid to hold for avery. first shot - avery's SCREAMING as babies do. ben has his brave face on (which is a tight lipped fake smile) and i know that means the tears are on their way. i smiled at ben and he burst out crying and trying to get his arms around my neck. i switched avery into the other arm so the doctor could give her shot in the other leg and blood-curdling screams ensued while ben hung off my neck. oh. my. goodness. two screaming kids and the door OPEN into the waiting room - i have to admit, i shed a couple tears myself while i shook my head and chuckled.

ben recoverd as he went off with the doctor to choose his treat while i got avery dressed and in her car seat. then i lugged her out into the waiting room where the only free seat was the one that was draped in both our coats, ben's books, snack, fire helmet, and boots. i packed everything up while avery screamed her heart out and all the other patients watched me. i could not get out of there fast enough and it seemed to take hours.

did i mention i was feeling sick to my stomach? on top of all this, i thought i was going to throw-up. i wasn't sure i was going to make it home but i did. got a show on tv for ben, got avery in bed, and i made myself something to eat. i think i just hadn't had enough to eat that day so by the time tim walked in the door, i was feeling a little better.

so, anyways, i'm pretty sure all our positive steps towards ben learning to like our doctor have been shot. literally. back to square one.